It’s gorgeous outside, sun shining, snow sparkling, and a frigid 12 degrees (negative wind chill factor). Last night, with the huge moon, I saw amazing moon shadows in the woods outside my window as I took one of my many trips to the loo. Like a midnight fairyland, right outside my house. We finally filled up the bird feeder a week or two ago, and the birds have found it again. I’ve seen a few nuthatches, chickadees, and a woodpecker today. (I saw a blue jay approach timidly the other day, but the girls’ ecstatic response scared him off. I hope he comes back; we’ve never seen blue jays at this feeder before. Oh, we’ve also seen plenty of sneaky squirrels, too. ) Jason shoveled out the outdoor portion of the chicken run, and despite the cold temperatures and historically wimpy chickens, I’m watching two or three venture outside their enclosed hut to walk in the sunshine. I can’t believe the beauty of this place, all four seasons, and that I get to live here.
It would be a great day to have a baby.
39 weeks, 3 days gestation is when I gave birth to Ellery, my longest cooking baby. It was around 5:15 p.m. So in just over three hours, I will be in uncharted territory. I will be more pregnant than I ever have been. I suppose it’s possible for me to have him before then, given that my last two labors were much shorter than three hours, but I just don’t feel like labor is coming on. I really wonder when (if!) this guy is coming out. I get Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the day, but it’s nothing spectacular, nothing rhythmic, nothing worth looking at the clock for. Not much pressure, no pain. No bloody show. It’s as if I’m due in a month, not Thursday.
That is four days from now. I am due in four days. FOUR DAYS. I have never met my due date with a baby still inside, and I really hope I don’t start with this pregnancy.
My sister and her family are at the airport now, getting ready to fly back to the east coast. Without meeting their newest nephew.
My back pain is excruciating at times. I’m pretty sure it’s just due to sore muscles and carrying around the baby/extra weight, not labor. It’s not rhythmic back pain; it can be relieved temporarily by changing position or begging a back rub off a kind husband. So not even back labor. (Not complaining on that front; I really don’t want back labor. Who does?)
I’ve knitted a newborn pilot cap, a newborn soaker, and a newborn diaper wrap in the past couple of days. I decided that the baby doesn’t like knitting, so I moved on to crochet today. Thought I’d try my hand at these slippers, in pink, to resemble ballet slippers for Maya. So far, it’s not going well, as I’ve only ever successfully crocheted things that are small and rectangular, like potholders and doll blankets. I do not crochet often, nor have I ever been skilled, so I’m hoping that a little practice will get these slippers in the right size, eventually. I’ve frogged twice already…perhaps I will give up and sew ballet slippers from recycled wool and leather.
I’ve lost my desire to do any daily household tasks: dishes, cooking, laundry, general cleaning. I’ve kept up alright, but it’s taken a lot of emotional effort on my part (and a little extra contribution from Jason now and then). I try to stay busy, but I just want to have this baby out. I went to church today, which was a mixed blessing. My “still pregnant” status was commented upon/asked about by many people, which I expected and handled as graciously as I could. I told Jason on the way home that after my due date, if I’m still pregnant, I’m not going ANYWHERE. At all.
We are now looking for a name that means “hermit.” Any suggestions?